Today I feel it’s on my heart to share with you yesterday.
Yesterday was not the best day.
I didn’t feel in control of my home & everything I had to do. I started spinning out.
I think looking back, all I really needed was a couple of hours out! But when you have kids to look after its unlikely to happen!!
I let myself worry yesterday.
Worry that I’m not being busy enough, worry that I’m too busy.
When we decided I would be a stay at home mama it was not as easy a decision as I thought. It’s not the easier or the harder road, it’s just different.
As soon as the decision was made I started filling up on worry, fear, anxiety & disappointment. Compacted into a small cube, I’ll use a stock cube to give you a visual. I wrap it up in a pretty bow & let it sit in my stomach.
I feel guilt that I’m not doing enough & that I’m not a good enough Mama.
Why is my house such a mess? Why do I feel so disappointed that this stay at home thing isn’t at all fun some times? Why am I soooo tired!!!?
Now most of the time I’m fine, but every now & then I have one of ‘those’ days. Generally following a run of sleepless nights.
I’m thankful that the positive side of me doesn’t wallow in it for long. That bit of me lets a little bit break off & I change a little more.
I’m in a process now that hopefully will see the whole cube crumble & dissolve, but it’s a process.
My Dad gave me a bit of a pep talk. Bless him!
He said does it matter if your house is a mess if your children are happy? What would be the ideal, a tidy house & unhappy children, or a messy house & happy kids?
He’s very wise, my Dad.
Until the next time friends!
Have a great day.