The Little Stock Cube

Today I feel it’s on my heart to share with you yesterday.

Yesterday was not the best day.

I didn’t feel in control of my home & everything I had to do. I started spinning out.

I think looking back, all I really needed was a couple of hours out! But when you have kids to look after its unlikely to happen!!

I let myself worry yesterday.

Worry that I’m not being busy enough, worry that I’m too busy.

Sound familiar?

When we decided I would be a stay at home mama it was not as easy a decision as I thought. It’s not the easier or the harder road, it’s just different.

As soon as the decision was made I started filling up on worry, fear, anxiety & disappointment. Compacted into a small cube, I’ll use a stock cube to give you a visual. I wrap it up in a pretty bow & let it sit in my stomach.

I feel guilt that I’m not doing enough & that I’m not a good enough Mama.

Why is my house such a mess? Why do I feel so disappointed that this stay at home thing isn’t at all fun some times? Why am I soooo tired!!!?

Now most of the time I’m fine, but every now & then I have one of ‘those’ days. Generally following a run of sleepless nights.

I’m thankful that the positive side of me doesn’t wallow in it for long. That bit of me lets a little bit break off & I change a little more.

I’m in a process now that hopefully will see the whole cube crumble & dissolve, but it’s a process.

My Dad gave me a bit of a pep talk. Bless him!

He said does it matter if your house is a mess if your children are happy? What would be the ideal, a tidy house & unhappy children, or a messy house & happy kids?

He’s very wise, my Dad.

Until the next time friends!
Have a great day.

Lizzie xx

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