Tag Archives: #comparison

OPEN MIC – What is Normal?

OPEN MIC

Hello my name is Kathryn.  I am married to James, have 2 gorgeous children, Sam and Jessica and am just about still clinging on to my 20s! I worked as a PE teacher for a few years but now adore being at home full time with my little lovelies!

What is normal?

I put this question to you whilst watching Jessica, my beautiful 15 month old shuffling around the yes you heard it right her bottom, not her feet or her knees!

On a daily basis I am asked “when is she going to crawl/walk/pull herself up?” or a recent one was “Prince George is walking, surely Jessica should be by now!” Thankfully I know the answer, having been through exactly the same questions with my now gorgeous, very active 3 year old Sam who missed every developmental milestone as a baby/toddler – “when she is ready!”

Do we spend too much of our time comparing ourselves and our children to others? I know I have been guilty of this many times!

With the development of social media, this competitiveness and worry has only gotten worse.  I remember many a day of worrying when Jessica wasn’t sitting up at 11 months and Sam wasn’t crawling by his 1st  birthday because this wasn’t “normal!”

Who defines normal? Celebrities, the government, our friends, ourselves?  We can forget what a blessing our children are and the individuality of our children is what makes them beautiful.

After all, our wonderful God created us to be individuals and as Psalm 139 states “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” God celebrates our individuality and we should embrace this and mirror him in our own lives!

So friends, next time you come across a child or situation that you don’t think is “normal” check yourself and remember the wonderful gift that the child is and celebrate everything she is to the world, bum shuffling or not!!!

JESS & SAMJess & Sam on Holiday

KATHRYN & CHILDSam learning to walk at 19 months

JESSICAMy beautiful bum shuffler

Kathryn

 

 

Disclaimer : Opinions raised in this Open Mic series are entirely the words, thoughts & opinions of the guest author & are not necessarily the opinion of Lizzie Somerset’s Blog.  LS XO

Take a Moment – The Monet Effect

Hey friends,

monet effect

The Monet Effect, it hit me this morning….

Do you look at others & think they have it all sorted?

Do you wish you were cool, calm & collected with your kids 100% of the time? Just like the parents you see on Social Media with the flawless blog & your friends with the creative & well dressed kids?

Do you ever look at someone & think ‘they have it all’?

I was looking out of my bedroom window this morning.  It’s a hot, sunny day here in Somerset.  I’m fortunate enough to live with a beautiful & far reaching countryside view.  Somerset sure has beautiful rolling hills & is the essence of English country living.  I have a blissful view, for sure!

As I looked out of my window I glanced down at our hedge.  Our neighbour had trimmed their side of the hedge making our side look straggly, unsightly & well *gasp* unmaintained.  I was slightly mortified that I’d let the side down.  Perfectionism really does suck sometimes.

But then I looked at the hills in the distance & thought how beautiful & perfect the view was.

I was gently reminded  of a film I watched over & over again with my sissy called ‘Clueless’.  I know that film inside out & this quote from it came to mind!

Tai : ‘What’s a Monet?’

Cher: ‘It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.’

Not wanting to say Monet paintings are a big mess, no disrespect intended I love Monet.  But using the point that up close IN THE VIEW would not be so pefect after all.

There would be litter, weeds, bugs & alsorts.  Sometimes things aren’t what they seem from a distance.

Sometimes people & what they ‘have’ seem perfect with abit of distance between you & them. Do you find that you are way more envious of people when you don’t actually know the in’s & out’s of their daily lives & their struggles?

Everyone has flaws, everyone has issues, that’s a fact.

Next time you think someone else has it far better than you, remember the quote!

Also, if you want a giggle look up Clueless quotes, I just had such a fit of the giggles reading through them trying to find that one.

I gotta get that film out again!

Until the next time friends, I better organise getting my hedge trimmed!  Don’t want to let the neighbourhood down!!

Have a great day all.

Lizzie XO

 

Comparison Part Deux

theodore

Source

Hey friends,

I’ve been thinking a lot about this hot topic recently.  COMPARISON, it’s everywhere.

I posted the other day about comparison taking away ALL of our joy, but I must admit I’ve had a re-think! Mostly because I mis-quoted (sorry Theodore Roosevelt) but also because it’s just something that’s been stirring away in me for awhile.

We need to compare things, that just makes sense.  Say I have a pear in each hand, one is ripe & ready to eat, the other is bruised & looking a bit beyond it, which one would I choose to eat? I need to compare to make educated decisions.

I think my point was (& is) that when I get so wrapped up in what other people have or what they do then that robs me of my joy.

The reason it robs my joy is that the person I look up to (& put on a pedestal), the DREAM job/career person, the go-getter, the Type A personality in the stunning clothes, with perfect hair & perfect family. They don’t always show the hard work, the sacrifice of family time or the downright mundane of the job they do.  They makes it look so easy so I assume it is easy.

Who knows what that person had to go through to get that coveted job, work all the hours God sends? Maybe they’ve had to ‘fake it til you make it’ & are so fed up of the fake & just want to get away & take skiing lessons or go to Hawaii & surf & ‘find themselves’.  Maybe they look at someone like me & think ‘I’d love to stay home with my kids, that would be my dream job’!  Or maybe they were pushed so hard as a child they felt they HAD to get the top career or they’d be seen as a failure by their family. Or it might really be all it’s cracked up to be.

Whatever your situation is, sometimes the grass does look greener & maybe it is. Maybe one day I will have the dream career in writing/journalism/features. But if I don’t ever get that career, or go on that amazing trip or whatever it is for you, does that diminish who I am? Does it diminish who you are? I say NO WAY!

So compare away friends, because that’s natural & human.  But each time you start comparing with someone else’s life, think, does it advance you, or does it hold you back? I’m thinking that if it’s not a helpful comparison then acknowledge it, don’t judge it; then let it go & move on.

If it is helpful, then harness it & use it positively to learn & build a better version of yourself. But do it for YOU, not because you feel you HAVE to in order to look or feel successful for other people. That’s when you’ll be robbed of your joy.

noble

Source

Be encouraged, you are enough just as you are. If you’re not happy, compare wisely, choose joy & make plans.

Thanks for stopping by to read my thoughts, I hope you’re having a great day!

Lizzie xoxoxo

Contentment, Comparison & Cucumbers

Newly refreshed after our women’s weekend away!

I am grateful that I didn’t have to cook or wash up. I am also so thankful to these women that they choose to support & befriend & walk this journey with me.

Who can do this life thing on their own?

As I sit here thinking about what to blog about this week, I am struck once again how much we compare ourselves to each other.

After reading another blog on the subject last week I found myself comparing once again, a bad old habit of mine!

It does nothing but bring about confusion, self doubt & leaves us lacking self confidence.

So I want to encourage you, whether you are a stay at home Mama like me. Or if you are retired, working, at College, or sick & out of work.

God made you unique, a one off! No mistakes. You are useful, you have worth & you are loved.

We all need support to be ourselves & the best ‘selves’ we can be. I for one need friends, family & everyone in between to encourage & lift me up in times of doubt.

I love a pin I saw on Pinterest. It said ‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken!’.

Regarding contentment this is a tricky one! I’ve learnt that for me, true contentment comes from a non expectancy of others.

My worth was wrapped up in what people or friends thoughtfully gave me. So when the gift didn’t come or the friend wasn’t thoughtful, I thought I wasn’t worth much, to them or to myself.

A very wise friend advised that if no-one gave me anything ever again, it was good be content in every situation.

Since deciding to take this on board for myself I have never been so blessed by people.

I’m allowing them to show their love for me without any pre-conceived ideas from me about how this should be shown, & without any yearning from me to have anything at all.

A lady told us a story on the weekend about cucumbers!

She was new to the church & the Mum of a little girl went up to her & wanted to give her a small little cucumber.

The Mum explained that the little girl had been growing her own cucumbers & that the little girl had chosen to give her harvest, her first fruits, her very own home grown cucumber..to the lady to make her feel welcome.

How amazing is it when we set our default position at unassuming, non-expectancy. We’re then open to be blessed more than we could have imagined.

The story touched my heart, I know it touched the hearts of all the ladies on the weekend away.

‘You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less. That’s when you find yourself proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.’ Matt 5:5 MSG

Until the next time friends

Have a great week!!!

Lizzie x

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